Invictus
by lovemetendersweet
Summary: Ignore this garbage. If I had any faith in my self anymore, I'd revise this.
1. Prologue

"_I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul."_

-William Earnest Henley, "Invictus"

In case anyone was wondering Invictus is Latin for unconquerable and undefeated.

A/N: This is my first fanfic that I'm going to post on the site so yay! -. I believe it's quite good actually. This chapter is just a prologue of sorts to a hopefully great story to follow. Sephiroth contemplates his past and actions…

Could this be the redemption of Sephiroth?

As if…

Enjoy. And review. I feed off them. If you can, I don't really care much if it's anonymous or not, as long as I can get some feedback, constructive criticism is always welcomed, and if the needs arises…flame your heart out.

Falling…

He was falling. Through the wispy haze that ravaged his mind, he felt it.

Sephiroth, the legend, the general, the god…

…was _falling_.

And during this time, he had realized that perhaps…he had failed.

_No. _

It was he that had been used, betrayed, and beaten. He had been humiliated. He had been misunderstood.

No one would ever be able to understand his pain.

No one could ever understand him.

_He_ hadn't failed anyone.

_Everyone_ had failed _him_.

_Jenova _had failed him.

Cloud, his precious _puppet_, had failed him.

A somber though filled his head.

_He_ had failed _himself_.

If it was possible, he had shut his eyes tighter.

He felt weightless, but there was no denying the gusts of air rushing over his body, or the gusts of air that sent his silver hair whipping itself against his face. And there was no denying the aching pain that throbbed slowly in his chest.

But even with the pain, he had felt numb.

_Is this what its like to die? _He thought softly. There was the aftertaste of blood in his mouth, and his mind was so cloudy.

Cloud… 

He had tried to laugh when he grasped the fact that he felt more apologetic towards Cloud than himself, but instead he felt a weak sob racking through his sore body. He tried to draw in a breath, but it _hurt. _

Sephiroth knew now, that to everyone…he was nothing more than the means to an end. He was someone's weapon. He was someone else's to command, and he had complied. He had been a blind, cold, and uncalculating dog that barked when he was told to do so, jumped the very second the command passed from Shinra's lips, and all the while he had delusional himself into believing that he had power.

He had gone along with it all, Shinra and Jenova, and he had _never_ learned. He never understood that he was the chess piece being moved by Shinra, Jenova, or his own sadistic impulses that had led him astray.

Sephiroth had never been his own man.

He was the puppet. His mind cleared only to let thoughts and memories invade his vision. All those times he had ridiculed Cloud for being weak, for yielding to him, and him only. He was talking about himself more than anything.

Sephiroth realized that he was a hypocrite, that he was weak, and that he had been the one that needed meaning and self worth much more than Strife ever did. That's where the bond, that he was still reluctant to admit between then had began, and he feared that it went deeper than he could ever comprehend.

Whether the bond between them had been brotherhood or that of lovers.

Sephiroth had _needed_ Cloud.

The thought that hurt more, the thought that instigated another pang of guilt, was the fact that Sephiroth knew he needed Cloud not just to feel complete as a person (if he ever was that in the first place), he needed Cloud to feel stronger.

He needed Cloud to feed his twisted and perverse sadistic impulses to feel superior. He had needed someone who revered him, and at once confided a subtle friendship in him, to feel pain on his account. Sephiroth needed to know, he had needed to feel some control in his life, and that control had been Cloud. He had reveled in the fact that _he,_ and only he would be the one that could cause Cloud infinite amounts of pain, and he could have driven Cloud to insanity if he had willed.

He could have brought Cloud, once his little war buddy and companion, down with him.

If he could have, Sephiroth would have groaned at the fact that maybe, most of the dealings with Cloud could have been avoided…but it had been Sephiroth who had chased Cloud, he had instigated him.

And now, without Cloud, was there meaning in his life?

Sephiroth still was falling, and as awareness had started to drift in, he had tightly clenched his fists.

His eyes were still closed, but he knew that earth or the lifestream would be coming soon. Could he just keep on falling forever?

It didn't fit into logic…

…but then again, most of his recent dealings rarely had.

Sephiroth felt his lips twitch upwards, and he inhaled slowly…almost gasping as clean cool air invaded his lungs.

_So…_he thought grimly…_the Promised Land had rejected me. Perhaps the lifestream also. Wouldn't it be fitting for me…an abandoned soul forced to wander through eternity?_

All this had been in vain, he wasn't a Certa, he wasn't one of the ancients, and he wasn't and would never be superior.

Instead he was a multi-billion-gil science project that fucked up because of its instability. He had been a freak of nature since he was born, and he had been praised and used for it. Even with all of that…Sephiroth had been mortal.

With flaws, no less.

If he could have, he would have screamed. But his voice, just like anything that could have ever mattered, or could have become something important, or something that could have saved him…seemed to elude and abandon him.

He had been told that fate was what you make of it, but he was dealt the wrong hand in fate…and there really hadn't been any aspect of he controlled. Except Cloud…

Goddammit… 

Everything led back to a small and frail blonde headed boy…

Slowly, Sephiroth tilted his head back and dared to open his eyes. He was falling, strangely enough, into oblivion.

Nothing resembled the lifestream, the sky, or his vision of the Promised Land. It was darkness, and he found a somber peace in it.

There was solace in its lack of chaos, in its lack of life.

Sephiroth twitched. He turned his head, a feeble attempt to get away from his surroundings. This lack of life was exactly what he had been confined to as a child.

This is what drove him mad, this was what brought painfully churning memories to life, this silence was what brought him back to memories of desperateness and loneliness that he had _never _wanted to experience again.

And still, if he could have, Sephiroth would have screamed. He would have screamed until he had nothing left, until all his frustration had been relived, until he felt that he had been free from every little injustice that had been done to him.

Nothing about his life had ever been fair, he had no control, he had been used, and he had no fucking idea of anything around him. Even as the brilliant and deviously skilled swordsman, even with all the power a man could dream of, Sephiroth could have never escape the pain he was bound to.

And he hated it.

Even in death, he had no peace.

Couldn't the planet be merciful to him in that aspect?

Or was he so terrible that even a mother would reject her children?

Sephiroth took in a shaky breath as he tried to calm himself.

No…the planet had rejected him. It had abandoned him like it had in life only to drift in darkness and memories.

Another injustice that would never matter, because no one cared.

The thoughts rushed at Sephiroth again.

Everyone had failed him.

Everyone had deserted him.

And everyone had misjudged him.

And everyone would die.

A/N: Done. Next Chapter will be up by 2 weeks at the latest. Hmmm this only took me a bit less than an hour, I'm pretty proud of that, everything I write take forever…

And Review!

I'll give you a cookie…

No? Well it was worth a try.


	2. To Put You To Peace

**Disclaimer:** Eh. I don't own Sephiroth (goddamn!), Cloud or any other FFVII characters. They all belong to Squaresoft and Nomura (Lucky Bastards).

**A/N**: Last chapter I misspelled 'planet' as 'planted', but I went back and fixed it. I'm sorry for that. Kelly a.k.a Aldriena on this site is my beta now! So give her a hug. Glomps Kelly

Thanks to all of the people who reviewed the prologue. 11 Reviews for the prologue…yay! It was nice to know someone cares about my stories.

I was listening to One Winged Angel, and I swear to God, that song has some subliminal power to it. It unleashes this urge inside me to grow my hair down to my knees (and dye it silver), go out with a 6 ft sword, commit arson and mass genocide, and condition my pretty silver hair in between, while trying to bring the world single handedly down to its knees as I'm chanting "REUNION". It's quite disturbing actually.

Warnings: Not much really, some swearing here and there, eventually, I mean this story has Cid in it. Enough Said. Kinda Yaoi-ish? Well shonen-ai really…but pff…it's Sephiroth and Cloud centric.

Chapter 1 (two parts, brief summary on both): Cloud muses about Sephiroth and himself.

**Invictus**

Chapter 1: To Put You To Peace 

"_You're not the Sephiroth I once knew_."-Cloud

You weren't the only one that died in the Northern Crater, Sephiroth. Both of us died that night, but hopefully you would be the one who would be able to find peace in death.

He had come back.

Six months later, he had brought himself back to place he had promised himself to leave behind.

Six months later, with the world in ruins, and his life in pieces, Cloud Strife had decided to come back to Northern Crater.

Cloud was still a bit perturbed as to what would compel him to return here. Was it for solace, closure, or for something deeper that he didn't even want to speak of?

Midgar had finally started to rebuild itself; saved from a psychopathic homicidal maniac that had once been the object of idolization and worship throughout the Planet, by a short, insecure, and mentally unstable blonde that had failed to even make into SOLDIER.

But the rest of Midgar never knew that. They would never know of his mental recessions, his weaknesses, or the fact that he had been the one to hand Sephiroth the black material that led to the summoning of meteor in the first place.

Cloud was their object of idolization now, and Sephiroth was now the villain in a classic tale of good vs. evil.

Midgar and the rest of the world had put him and AVALANCE up on a high pedestal that even now as the savior of the planet, he couldn't reach. A position he didn't deserve.

Cloud had almost hated these people. They had brought this destruction on themselves.

In their minds, they were perfect. A complete and total insult to all of the anguish, hardships, and sacrifices he and his fellow members had to endure to save the world.

No one would be able to sacrifice and give up all the things they had for other people.

But what had it all been for?

What did he get out of it?

Cloud knew he was being selfish. But after being confined in a lab for five years and losing everyone you let yourself close to, you would expect something in return….wouldn't you?

Cloud, alone, had been able to accomplish what no other would have been able to, but it all seemed to be in vain.

Is peace of mind a little bit too much to ask for?

The promised land had been nowhere for him. The Cetra and the lifestream refused to acknowledge him, even after he saved both on their behalf; Cloud Strife had no place in life or death.

He had no comfort except memories that had faded away into nothing more than a few blurry shapes and disoriented sounds, and he hadn't even been able to differentiate whether those had been Zack's or his.

No one would understand his pain.

And now, when he needed someone the most, when loneliness was the worst and most formidable predator in his life, Cloud was simply alienated because of the fact that he was able to match the legendary Sephiroth.

He doesn't deserve to be remembered like that.

Everyone else was moving on,

so why couldn't he?

Shouldn't he be happy that he no longer felt that pull from Sephiroth or Jenova calling to him? Shouldn't he be relieved that he was no longer controlled, someone else's pawn, and a completely useless tool that couldn't grasp reality?

Cloud was free now, in more ways than one. But the second he had noticed the gape in his thoughts, the absence of an intruding presence in his mind, and the lack of a soft and chilling voice clinging to his conscience, Cloud had, simply put, began to panic.

As obtrusive, cold, and disdainful Sephiroth's presence inside him had been, it had been vaguely and awkwardly comforting. Even then, he had never felt nearly as lonely.

Cloud sighed. All he had wanted to do was convince Sephiroth that he was still human, perhaps that would have stopped him.

Ultimately, Cloud had proved that Sephiroth was mortal indeed. But the feat had come a little to late. In the end, it hadn't saved either of them, only millions of masses of people that would neither understand nor care about any of them.

Cloud slowly closed his eyes. He inhaled shakily, blinking as he felt drops of moisture cling to his eyelashes.

It had been a while since he cried.

It had been a while since Cloud had felt so defeated and helpless, and this time there was no one left to draw him out of this shell of self-loathing and pity. There was no one around him to even try.

All he was left with were a few haunting memories, the numbers and addresses of his fellow comrades, and a small, frayed, and faded pink ribbon that reminded him of every failure in his life, and what he could have never achieved.

Zack, the first person who actually went out of their way to make him happy, was dead, on his account no less. Zack had died trying to get Cloud to Midgar with him. Had Zack let Cloud rot away in the lab he still would have been alive. Aeries had died because he couldn't protect her. He couldn't have stopped her from going that night, and he knew that Sephiroth would be waiting for both of them at the alter to take her life.

And then there was Tifa…

She had gone back to Midgar to help rebuilding with Vincent after she finally realized that her feelings for Cloud had been misplaced and would be unreturned.

Tifa wasn't here now to help him find himself anymore.

He had tried, so hard to do it alone.

But he couldn't.

Cloud had hated being so dependent. He had been the type to be able to take care of himself fine. He just needed the support, acceptance, and friendship from others to get by.

Tifa was the only one then who had an utter and completely unbreakable faith in him that had been riveting if not just uplifting.

It had made him feel special.

It was almost as though she had given him the adoration that he had given Sephiroth.

It had made even him feel Godly.

Granted there had been a time when he had loved her, but there were just certain events in life that had stopped him from acting on any feelings he had toward her.

You never really do realize what you have, until you lose it.

It didn't really matter much now.

Tifa was out of his reach. And Cloud knew, that no matter how much it would hurt him, he wouldn't go back to see her. Not after all the pain and false hopes he had caused her.

Tifa didn't deserve it. She was happy now, and he had no intention to intrude on her newly built life.

His shoulders slumped. The tension that had restricted the muscles in his back began to fade, and for that little bit of easiness, Cloud Strife was grateful. His fingers traced the thin metal of the Masamune that impaled the ground. The coolness of the metal was comforting in a vague way.

He had set it as a grave marker, a reminder. The Masamune, standing tall and proud in all its nobility portrayed all that Sephiroth is…had been…in a silence.

Cloud had opened his eyes again.

Over the past few months, he had gone over every scenario, every tactic, every method, and mulled over everything he could have done to make things go differently.

But there was a hidden part of Cloud deep down inside that knew the bitter truth.

That the situation had been and always will be past saving.

And maybe everything wasn't his fault.

That's wishful thinking on your part, Strife.

He scoffed at those words. They didn't feel like his own, but then again, rarely anything had.

Wishful thinking, indeed. Perhaps you were also forced into becoming a puppet too, is that it? Forced rather than wanted?

That last installment of thought…

The tone of it, the aura, the smug confidence, the dignity, the self-assured arrogance, and bitterness of the voice…

Had not been his…

His grip on the blade tightened. Cloud felt the cool metal begin to break through the first few layers of flesh.

He welcomed the pain; it would be distracting from the utter chaos of his mind.

No, that voice had been far from his…

It had been older, chillier, and calmer…but demanding at the same time.

It had been a force all its own.

A force all to familiar.

A force that would not and could not be bound…

Cloud drew in a breath, trying to calm his shaky nerves…

Cloud felt the cool metal find it's way into his skin.

Instinct told him, that perhaps Sephiroth had not found peace in death.

A/N: Second Installment finally finished.

Assessment: All right, thought the ending was better, and mulled too much over angsty Cloud. Cloud's been down these past few days.

Took me a while, but it's posted in under two weeks as promised.

A cookie to all of those who reviewed the last chapter: Mistress Luna, _Aldriena_, _BloodRaevynn_, _SarsMortis_, _ZooeyGlass_, _The Great Susinko_, Leddie!!!, _Serria_, atOmicsquid,and mei. I live for reviews, so they're rather appreciated and very motivational.

There's not much motivation to writing a fic, when you're a sophmore in high school and your gpa status is in absolute turmoil. **:sighs:**

Next chapter will be up at three weeks at the latest, review, and maybe I'll have the motivation to finish the chap up faster. The fact that I goy 11 reviews for the Prologue was the only thing that motivated me to actually finish up writing.

Until next time….

Ahnaf (Faded Justice)


	3. Forward

Chapter 3: Moving Forward 

(I'm going to lay of Cloud and Sephiroth for this Chapter and concentrate on VinTif this time around)

The queer sultry summer night had Vincent Valentine suffocating. Maybe it was the silk black tie around his neck, or the weight of the thick suit on his thin frame, or perhaps it was the fact that his stomach was doing flips that seemed to defied gravity. It could have been because he was sweating, and his heart was going a mile a minute. Things seemed so _odd_ today, even the vague, hazy outline of the moon seemed to radiate like the sun.

Vincent Valentine told himself that he was being ludicrous as the looked through the corner of his eye at Tifa and Marlene, giggling and unpacking piles and piles of scattered boxes.

But it was time to move on. Even Vincent Valentine could admit that.

In a world where if you look back and look into the past trying to live something that would have never been, you fall victim to your own humanity. In a world, where there is nothing to do but look forward,

You have no choice but to move onward.

And they were finally beginning to do that. Or at least, they were trying to do so.

But it was hard, harder because all he did for the last 30 or so years was look back and trying to create what never could have been, but like sand through his fingers, the illusion would slip away time and time again. You could only delusion yourself for so long.

But, and there's always a but...

The low dim disarray of vibrant fluorescent lights sifted throughout his window, he could hear the roaring of drunken men drowning themselves in liquor, almost feel the stench of smoldering cigarettes come to settle on his skin. _Junon was such a mind-numbing place at night. _He had to admit, it was a nice change of scenery over the pale tranquil nights of Niblehem, the desolation of the Shinra Mansion

But then why did it feel like everything he was missing had gone missing? The crinkling of newspaper, more giggling, more of a pair of dark slender brows furrowing at thoughts being led astray, more of Vincent Valentine shuddering in his suit, that damn tie felt more like a noose than anything.

"Vincent." Tifa's hushed voice radiated towards him like a subtle breeze. He heard the shuffling of Styrofoam, the muffled sound of movement, and felt Marlene move away, sensing nothing. He turned to face her, her features exuding a mask of disquieting concern, as his eyes were shocked by the harsh bright lights hanging from the ceiling. Pupils radiating, Vincent Valentine has realized his gaze had been transfixed on the darker recesses of the room.

"Vincent." She said again, "Is anything wrong?" She looked at Marlene through the corner of her eye, school had been over, it was summer, and she had tagged along to spend her vacation with the new couple. Vincent noticed the slight tension in Tifa's shoulders, and her feverishly twisting the wedding band twined around her slender finger, he could almost hear saying 'This was all to brash and foolish wasn't it?'

But those were not the words coming out of her mouth. "You just seem distant lately…more distant than usual. She had sighed, and as he did so, he noted how her shoulders had slumped, how her fidgeting had ceased, and her hands lay limp on her lap.

There was that desolating feeling again.

"I'm fine." He replied in a tenor of mock assurance that she would be too tired to see through. "It's just, it's been a long day."

She nodded lightly, chocolate brown eyes closed for a moment longer than it should have. She looked away, and the familiar sound of shuffling and crinkling reached Vincent Valentine once again, and after crimson eyes darted away towards the window, and pale sweaty hands loosened the black silk around his neck, Vincent Valentine blindly assured himself that by the break of dawn tomorrow, this anxiety and tension would soon be water under the bridge.

**A/N:** I feel terrible for the lack of updates. And I apologize to my fans for that, I'm terribly sorry. It's been so long since I've posted but that's because school and life in general caught me off guard. Thank you to all the people that e-mailed me about my story, I'm so happy that you still care. I love the e-mails I get from you guys. :huggles: And I know it was short, but I felt like I had to deliver something!

Now I know this chapter was short, but two hours ago, I just got back my motivation, and the speed of life has considerably slowed down, but I'm working on the next chapter, and I promise you that I won't delay this as long, now go and review and leave me some inspiration if you can?

PS: Yaoiness will hit you next time around, I promise! And Review!

-FadedJustice


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